January 2008
46 posts
December 2007
67 posts
“Oh, god!!! It tastes like old man!”
– Chloe, after tasting my Crown and Coke.
“Here’s a kiss for the wicked.”
– The man at the urinal next to me right before he farted. We were the only two in the restroom at Mike’s American Grill.
"Almost" is close enough
poor colorblind david told me that sweeney todd was in black and white except for the blood. — chloesanchez Ahem…..”Burton instructed his director of photography to strip color from the film, rendering it almost black-and-white—except, of course, for all that blood.” —- http://www.slate.com/id/2180406/fr/rss
Sit. Good boy! Now rollover. No. Rollover!
I’ve spent the last 45 minutes trying to figure out how to roll my old 401K into my new 401K (2 years after changing jobs). The fact that I’m even thinking about a 401K rollover blows my mind. In my head, I’m still just an 18 year old driving a blue Chevy Nova and being the worst waiter in the world. Instead, I got up early, cleaned the kitchen, filed my mortgage papers, and...
In the mail....
3 Christmas cards: One to my brother with a $100 giftcard for Southwest Airlines for his flight to Daytona. One to my father with a $100 giftcard for Southwest Airlines for his flight to Daytona or Vegas. One to my father’s wife with a $50 giftcard to LL Bean. I struggled on this one between $50 and $100. We hate each other, so I would say $50 would be fine, but I would gladly send $100 in...
When you need it, you need it. →
Be Colorblind, Don't Be So Shallow
I’m colorblind. Chloe sent me this link, which is probably the best way to explain it to people who are not. All of these pictures look the same to me. http://critiquewall.com/2007/12/10/blindness?printable
Heavy Metal and Hippie Lesbians?
So, my brother called me Friday afternoon and said that he heard a rumor that “Metallica is going to open for Led Zeppelin at Bonnaroo.” It’s just a rumor…and I’m not sure how I feel about that if it’s true. Metallica and LZ playing Bonnaroo? Do those crowds really mix? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big Metallica fan, but it just seems out of place. ...
You're Welcome
Instead of my usual obscenity laced, smut filled post, I’m going to provide you with something useful. I’m not doing a whole lot of work at work right now (lalalala) and I’ve decided that in 2008, I’m going to be more responsible and conscious of my money and spending habits. To kick start this, I just viewed my credit report (all is well). You can get a free credit report...
Anacostia
So, the deepest in Southeast Washington that I’ve been is the Navy Yard. Even that was scary, but I had a 300 pound man named Gary with me. Wait…holy shit. Gary was Mormon. I completely forgot about that. (Hey, Mormon!!!! I know (knew) another Mormon. And I bet he wore the funny underwear.) Anyway, Southeast is scary. A lot of it is rundown. Us middle-upperclass white people...
I wish that I could have seen her face during... →
Chugalug. →
I'm all for solving the traffic problem, but... →
“you will die prolly in like 2-3 days. sorry. i wish i could help.”
– One of the responses to a woman seeking help on a web board for her floating rib pain, which I was researching because mine hurts. I guess I prolly have 2-3 days left.
“Thanks for your quick action, monitoring, and update.”
– My government manager after my heroic replacement of a failed drive. See people, I do actually do some work while at work.
Friends, let's not puss out this year. →
“It’s fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something...”
– Microsoft’s Santa
Restraining Order, Please
I was almost home last night, driving on 66 when I moved over to the left lane to pass a silver pickup truck. I was passing it and then realized that it was staying right with me, the driver obviously trying to get my attention. I ignored whoever it was for a while, trying to think of who I know that owns a silver pickup. I don’t know anyone that has one. So, what is this person doing? ...