December 2009
44 posts
“Hey, we’re in the car now. We’re on our way. See you there.”
– The chick on her cell as she walked into Target.
Reminded me of eboscharoo. Location liars.
Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins split →
My mother has a home phone and a cell phone, but she never turns her cell phone on unless she knows that someone is going to call her on it (like when she drives to visit me and she knows I’ll call asking her where she is). This is infuriating/humorous. Right now, I’m cursing her and laughing at her because it’s just typical of old people.
Capital Beltway + Road Rage + Hatchet = Arrest →
I’m embarassingly disappointed that Tabatha’s Salon Takeover isn’t new tonight.
Sadness is getting salsa at the grocery store and then getting home and realizing you forgot tortilla chips.
Dear Massoud-
I know we just met and all and our relationship doesn’t go beyond you helping to push my car out of the snow, but I really felt something. Do you want to get together or something? You know, have some sex or whatever?
As God As My Witness
I will never not get the four wheel drive option ever again.
Just Finished
One hour and 25 minutes on hold to get my Rockettes tickets refunded.
Just Learned
Your should not rub your boyfriend’s belly and sing Papa Don’t Preach.
Nothing like going for a haircut and popping a boner while the chick washes your hair and you’re just stuck there laying back with your head in the sink displaying everything you have to a salon full of women when that’s the last thing you want.
Whenever I’m doing research for a paper, I get the sneaking suspicion that the professor is just making us his really cheap research assistants.
www.gaytona.com/ →
The site for gay NASCAR fans.
“Lady GaGa, huh? AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
– My 69 year old father
Searching for condos online is a lot more fun when you don’t enter a maximum price.
I have a coworker that only calls me “Brother Dewster” and gives me a fist bump every morning. It’s odd and endearing all at the same time.
Exploding Chewing Gum Blows Off College Student's... →
“I wanted some hardcore Aretha. What happened?”
– The gaysian to Pandora
Infuriating
Me: I just left Kevin a voice mail so that I can pick his brain about this.
Boss: blah blah blah
Me: blah blah blah
Boss: blah blah blah
Me: blah blah blah
Boss: So, we need to talk to Kevin to get some more info.
Me: Yeah...that's why I just left him a voice mail.
Boss: Yeah, do that.