December 2010
14 posts
Mom: I know what we're going to watch.
Me: Oh?
Mom: I'm finally going to make you watch this.
Me: What?
Mom: Mama Mia!!
Me: .....
Mom: Ready? Get your lowered expectations on. You may not like this, but I've watched it about four times and love it.
Mom gave me a Keurig for Christmas!!!!
And she knows I don’t drink coffee….
I get a certain satisfaction out of scrubbing trouble spots in the bathroom with an ex’s toothbrush.
Life Story
Buy new gloves on Monday. Leave them on the Metro on Thursday.
“I didn’t have any milk or cream at home for my coffee this morning, so I...”
– My coworker
Friends
Me: Still seeing that boy?
Friend: Yessir!!
Me: L-bombs?
Friend: Not yet. He's not gay either. Phew!
Me: I didn't know that was a possibility. Good for you!
Friend: Well, maybe you should put it in his butt, just to be sure. Up for the challenge?
Me: Of course. I was about to offer anyway.
Friend: You're such a good friend. Always so selfless.
About to strangle my coworker’s republican wife from Texas.