January 2011
20 posts
Game of Numbers
Number of hours to get home from work: 5
Number of ditches I slid into: 1
Number of other cars that slid into the ditch while I was there: 2
Number of large men that pushed me out of said ditch: 1
Number of large men I took home because I owed him one: 1
Number of times large man had to push me again because I was stuck: 4
Number of miles from large man’s house when he decided to bail...
I woke up about 2:30 this morning when I stretched in my sleep and this huge pain shot through both of my arms. They were fine when I curled them, but when I stretched them, the pain was awful. I thought “What the hell is this?! What’s happening to me? Am I crippled?!?!?”
And then it hit me that I worked out last night for the first time in months years none of your fucking...
Maybe...
I can use the fact that a man was shot and killed last night a block and a half from the condo that I’m trying to buy as a negotiating point.
There’s nothing like a heated political debate at 1am in a bar in Memphis. Boobs and the gaysian bonding. Save me.
“YES!!!”
– Me when I saw that the number one side effect of my MRSA-fighting antibiotic (just in case it is MRSA) is appetite loss.
I just watched two of my clients debate whether I look like Craig Ferguson or not. I can’t decide if I should be offended.
Also, I’m about to go to the doctor because I think my finger is infected. I’ve convinced myself it’s MRSA and (since the internet is such a good friend) all I’ve been doing is looking at pictures of people with MRSA having their fingernails...
Mega Millions Simulator →
A big slap in the face to the 5 tickets I just bought.
Events from last night
Go to bed.
Shake, poke, and/or wake the gaysian every time he starts snoring.
Get pissed/exasperated and go up to the loft, set the alarm on my phone, and get in that bed.
Remember that I didn’t turn off my alarm clock in the bedroom.
Walk down stairs in the dark without contacts/glasses.
Miss the last step.
Break toe.
Turn off alarm in bedroom.
Go back upstairs and get into bed.
...
Taking today off may have been the best decision of my life.
New Years Resolution
To be unhealthily skinny by March 1, 2011.
